Lost My Temper, Now What?

My latest question was from a leader who wants to understand how he could have better addressed a situation that was brought to his attention in a staff meeting. He feels he lost his temper and wants to know what to do now. If this has happened to you, you are not alone. Speaking for most managers and leaders I know, including myself, we have been there done that.  

So how can we address times like this better?

PAUSE. First, give yourself permission to pause for a second or two. Know that nobody is expecting an immediate response out of you. When we pause, we can push the incoming information up to the prefrontal cortex of our brains.

By doing so, we can then understand which of our core values are being compromised and embrace the emotions we are having, all while knowing why we are having a reaction to the situation.

RESPOND. We can then make a conscience decision how to respond in a manner that is respectful, courteous, and kind. 

BE CONSISTENT. To establish work relationship trust with others, we need to be as consistent as possible and function in a manner that is worth connecting with. Negative reactions do not benefit anyone, especially when hostility or unprofessionalism occurs. This could cost yourself and the company serious money.

Learning to respond vs react is a game changer and a key element to embracing chance, gaining trust, and building connections.

People may not always remember what you said, but they will always remember how they were made to feel.

If you are wondering what I recommended this leader do immediately, I had him practice on me. We worked on his apology to the team and commitment to taking the steps to change so that he can avoid “losing his temper” again.

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