My Ideas Are Not Being Heard

My ideas are not being heard, what am I doing wrong?

If you can relate to this person's question, I encourage you to:

• Look back on a time where you felt others were truly listening. Have you changed or has your environment?

• Get comfortable asking others to share what they observe you might be doing and what they would recommend you do differently. It is okay to share your feelings with those who you feel are not listening to you.

I could not agree more with Judith Humphrey’s Fast Company article, where she states, “Listening is hard work. There are so many distractions in our lives.” Judith states the five techniques she uses to help her listeners not only hear with their ears, but truly listen with their minds and hearts are as follows:

1.   BE AUDIENCE CENTERED. People will listen to you if you show you have listened to them-so build your audience into your remarks.

2.   HAVE A CLEAR MESSAGE. To make sure they really hear it, frame it with words like, “My point is…” or “My main message is …” or “I believe that….” 

3.   COUNT OUT YOUR PLANS. Saying, “The first…” “The second…” listeners take notice, because those words announce discreet ideas.

4.   SLOW DOWN. Speak in a more leisurely fashion, giving weight to each thought and emphasizing key words. Pause between your ideas.

5.   USE BODY LANGUAGE. Look people directly in the eye when you are talking to them. Show in your face that what you are saying matters. Hold your head high and stand (or sit) tall showing that you have confidence in what you are saying. Use open gestures to engage your audience and underscore key points.

According to Humphrey’s, “if you adopt these five techniques, you will help your listeners not only hear you with their ears, but truly listen with their minds and hearts.”

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